Tips for Traveling as a Solo Female

I love traveling as a solo chick. It’s actually my favourite kind of travel style. I’ve written before about the pros of traveling solo and I really feel there are a lot. Obviously I’ve never tried traveling as a solo guy, but I think that there’s a bit of a difference between traveling as the two sexes. One of my friends suggested I write about the truth of traveling solo and I figured after some 3+ years of mostly travel solo, I have enough experience to write about it.

At the moment I’m making my way through a book called The Gift of Fear. It’s a very well written book by an excellent author. It talks about the at the root of fear, men and women really fear different things. Men fear being made fun of or not being ‘the man’, while on the flipside, woman fear being attacked/raped.

As a woman, I can agree it’s true. My mind constantly races to the worst case scenario when I find myself in a mildly compromising situation. Perhaps it is because I was stabbed a few years ago and have seen that side of mankind, but perhaps it is an innate safety mechanism designed to keep me safe.

The truth is with a little common sense, almost everywhere you visit will be safe.

Here are some tips I’ve collected over the years that might help you feel more secure and excited about traveling as a solo female.

1) Talk to the Hostel/Hotel Staff
Coming from New Zealand, most places are more dangerous than home. There are certain cities I’ve been to that I would feel safe walking home drunk, by myself, at 3am. Where I am right now, Jaco, is one of them. There are numerous places where I wouldn’t do this. I find the best piece of advice is to talk to the hostel/hotel staff about where is safe to avoid and whether they would feel comfortable doing so themselves (if they’re a female) or whether they’d let their sisters do the same. A lot of crap online/in the media will scare you off doing anything, including leaving your home, so I prefer to take ‘on the ground advice’ from people really living there. Of course, make sure you know the area well enough in the day time before you try to navigate it by night.

2) Be Realistic in Your Expectations of People
When traveling it’s pretty easy to feel like that person you JUST met is your new best friend for life. You’ve done all this cool stuff together; looked out over New York from the Rock, swum around Ha Long Bay by night and admired the glowing fish, and you’re contemplating getting matching tattoos. Just be careful.

I remember one night, early in my travels, I thought I’d made some really good friends, so I got crazy drunk. They ended up leaving because one of the girls was feeling unwell and I found myself on Koh Phangan, drunk and alone, trying to figure out how to get home. My “real” friends from home would never do this, but these were just travel friends. We’d only met a few days before. From that point onwards, I lowered my expectations and made sure I was always responsible for myself. After a few hours of failed attempts to get home via the beach and the forest, I made it home, but it could have panned out a lot worse if I’d had any more to drink.

3) Have Your Own Back
Keep a spare credit card or bank card in another bag so if your stuff is stolen, you’re fine. Keep a copy of your hotel’s address in your phone so that if you forget where it is or lose the card, you’re fine. Walk on the opposite side of the road to the direction traffic is driving. Make sure someone from home knows your travel plans and where you’re headed next. Keep a copy of your travel insurance details in your phone or better yet, a card in your wallet. It’s the little details that will make all the difference.

4) Make Friends
There are certain things I want to do on my travels that I wont do by myself. For example, when I get to Nicaragua I wont be wandering the streets after dark by myself. I would do this in a group of people, for sure, but alone? No Thank You. Now my life will be just fine without any nights spent wandering the streets alone, but if I find a great group of people then we can do some bar hopping. I also have a personal rule that I don’t get drunk without knowing anyone well enough to trust they would have my back (and my hair back) in case of emergency.

5) Set Clear Boundaries
Let’s be honest right now, most women do not have the strength of men. We’re lacking in the testosterone department. As such, as it’s very important to use our ‘strength’ in other ways and to make the situation very clear from the beginning. When you’re traveling new places it’s imperative that you set clear boundaries. Things that might be really appropriate in your home country, might send the wrong signals in another. When I was Couchsurfing in San Sebastian I found myself in an uncomfortable situation where my host decided that I would be his “girlfriend” for a night. I hadn’t sent any mixed messages, I hadn’t been affectionate, he was just a bit of a creep. Thankfully after a few “NOs” he backed down.

Here’s a golden piece of advice: If you feel uncomfortable, make it clear and remove yourself from the situation. I found myself in a very, very unusual situation in Burma and I should have said something. My “tour guide” decided to give my friend and I a massage. It felt a little inappropriate, but because I didn’t want to offend his customs I said nothing. I regretted it. I endured something that made me feel uncomfortable because I didn’t want to make my tour guide feel uncomfortable. That’s retarded logic and with a whole lot of hindsight, I know I’d never make this mistake twice. In future I wont be accepting massages from people outside of spas, but it was a good lesson for me to learn in a relatively safe way. Making yourself uncomfortable to ensure someone else’s comfort is NOT the right way to go about things. Set CLEAR boundaries and ensure you feel comfortable at all times.

6) Have a Fake Boyfriend
When you’re having marriage proposals flung at you from all directions wandering the streets of Morocco, it’s a good idea to have a fake boyfriend or husband in mind to deter the unwanted attention. Some travellers wear a wedding ring, others have photos of them and their “love” to show anyone who is coming on strong. While personally I haven’t reached this level, it’s something I would strongly consider for any travels in South America and the Middle East.

7) Dress Appropriately
While it would be wonderful if we didn’t live in a world where we are judged for what we wear or how we look, we have to be realistic. You should try your best to dress according to local customs. Don’t wear short shorts in India and then wonder why you are constantly being harassed and followed. Western style clothing is embraced in many countries around the world, but there are tons of places where it is not. Bikinis might seem like a staple for any beach environment, but there are numerous conservative countries with beautiful beaches where bikinis are considered inappropriate. Do the research, dress appropriately and you’ll be able to blend in a lot more comfortably. As sad as it is, in many conservative countries the only real exposure men have to sparingly dressed woman might be in porn or movies, and you need to be mindful of the kind of message you want to send.

8) Don’t Tell Too Much
Say you find yourself attracting the attention of someone you’re not particularly interested in being around, for whatever reason. The person asks how long you have left in town and the truth is you’re spending another 3 weeks here, but don’t want them to offer their services or try to inject themselves into your plan. Lie. Say you’re leaving tomorrow. You’re catching a bus to blah blah in a few hours. You really don’t have to offer any more than you’re interested in offering.

Traveling as a female solo is one of the most rewarding things I’ve done in my life. While this list might seem a little grim, it’s important to cover the basics of keeping yourself safe and happy so that you can relax and enjoy the magic that is traveling the world.

Have you travelled as a solo female? Do you have any tips you think I need to add in here?